Thursday, August 24, 2006

Mother Hater

I went to Costco yesterday to pick up a few healthy snacks for my children. I chose string cheese, bananas and some earth’s best organic alphabet cookies. I skipped the Cheez-its (even though I love them), because I am trying to avoid partially-hydrogenated soybean oil, as that can clog your arteries pretty good.

As I was packing up my grocery cart and trying my hardest to get out of the way and out the door, I lost hold of my very cute 16-month-old baby. She ran over to touch a handheld scanner and a Costco employee said very rudely and without a smile: “Whose baby is that?” I stood there and looked her right in the eye and said: “Mine” And I wasn’t rude, but I had like a nice, I-dare-you-to-be-a-mother-hater look…but nice…really.

And then she said something like: “She can’t be there.” And in my head I am saying “Duh, that’s why I came right along to fetch her even before you asked the original question…” but instead I said: “I’m getting her,” and only then did I unlock our gaze, reach down and grab my cute baby who wasn’t doing a thing wrong.

Cut to the parking lot. I walked the grocery cart up to the back of my bright red SVU (please don’t hate me), and I opened the back and turned on the car. I came back and of course the baby had just stood up in the cart (I forgot that I had undone her seatbelt), and I snatched her up and locked her in the car seat.

I then came back to the back of my car and a man comes over and says: “A car was backing up out of it’s spot, and almost hit your cart with your daughter in it.” At first I thought maybe he was going to finish that statement with: “And I got his license plate number, I can’t believe he could be so careless as to come so close to hitting your daughter.” But then he was sort of being like the Costco employee and I just said in my now-you-are-NOT-gonna-be-a-mother-hater deadpan: “What are you trying to say?” And he replied, “I’m just saying that your daughter almost got hit by a car,” in a you-are-careless-and-should-never-be-allowed-to-have-children-and-I’m-going-to-report-you-to-DCFS tone, and then he lit up his cigarette, unfolded his stroller, and put his baby in it.

I’d say the best mothering I did after all that was by not rolling down my window as I drove by and saying anything about the Surgeon General’s warning on cigarettes, and in particular the affect of second hand smoke on a child.


Brenchley Family said...

i'm sorry the costco adventure was such a fiasco!!! at least your arteries are not clogged with partially hydroganated soy bean oil!

daring one said...

Good restraint. It's hard to be picked at like that when you're trying so hard and doing so many things right. That cigarette guy is a classic.