Friday, October 27, 2006

CD Shipment

No fair. My mother received the first shipment of my CD's today. I had 3/4 of them sent to her house, and the rest to mine. I will be making several appearances in my hometown of Naperville, IL in December. I am hoping to sell a large portion of my albums at a few of those events, so this is why she gets a large portion to store in her much-larger-then-my-apartment house.

She said the return address was Terra Haute, so I am guessing that my shipment is probably just a day behind hers. She opened one and played it, and looked at it, and it all seemed fine, so I don't think they need to be sent back! She listened to the track of my 4-year-old daughter and me singing Mother, Tell Me the Story, first, and called me crying. That is a super-good mom/grandma thing to do...I am pretty sure she was sincere.

I am still so involved in the business side of this that it is hard for me to make that emotional connection to it. I am not quite sure how to feel about it yet. I think it was a great moment for my mom to have heard about it, heard just a few tracks of it, seen a few drafts of the artwork, and then to have 8 huge boxes delivered to her door, pull one out, touch it, feel it, see it and listen to it. I think she was proud of me in that moment...and I can understand that...I am just not quite there yet.

My coping mechanism my entire life has always been to pick a moment in the future, and think about it. When I was growing up, almost every night it was to lay there and think about my wedding day. It was always extremely abstract, blurry, generic, but it was just the feeling I was after. When I have a lot going on I will think about something in the future that will make me happy. Right now, I keep thinking about Christmas Day or January 1st.

I know that on Christmas I will be surrounded by my family, and the LONG crazy month that will be December, will be past me. I know on January 1st I will be looking at a clean slate of a year...and it won't be full yet. My friends and family know that I completely thrive on chaos....and I do...but every once in a while I need to go to my happy place, and right now, that is about 2 months in the future. In the meantime, I am going to try to enjoy this ride of performances, events, selling, promoting, and trying to look and sound fabulous. And I have a feeling, that on one of those two "happy place days" I will finally realize what I have achieved, and I might just have a very specific feeling about that, but for now, I will enjoy how my mom felt today when she had that very special delivery. Let the selling begin!


marian said...

Oh oh oh I can't wait to see it!!! Of course I have to order it first, but whatever, that would make sense. As for now, i'll just get excited over the idea of its existence, and I'll eventually get around to the reality of clicking on the link on your website. :-) Congrats, VERY exciting.

As for the looking to the future, I think it's a great coping mechanism. I'm trying to think if that's something that I do, but I don't think it is. Maybe I should try it though.

Kage's Mom said...

This was such an exciting day when the FEDEX man pulled up in our driveway and unloaded box after box! When I opened one box and saw all of these CD's that Kage recorded I was overcome with joy! After phoning her and letting her know of their arrival, I decided to first listen to Kage and her daughter sing. Tears streamed down my face as I thought of this sweet,little, brave 4 year girl singing on her mother's CD. I listened to the rest of the CD and my heart burst with pride! This is a moment I will never forget... Kage's goal coming to fruition. I felt euphoric as she shared her beautiful gift. It is hard for me to express my feelings as Kage's mom. It was one of the best moments of my life.

D said...

Wow. Congratulations. I'm feeling it too, and I don't have any boxes of CDs or anything. Maybe I should go order one of these myself...