No fair. My mother received the first shipment of my CD's today. I had 3/4 of them sent to her house, and the rest to mine. I will be making several appearances in my hometown of Naperville, IL in December. I am hoping to sell a large portion of my albums at a few of those events, so this is why she gets a large portion to store in her much-larger-then-my-apartment house.
She said the return address was Terra Haute, so I am guessing that my shipment is probably just a day behind hers. She opened one and played it, and looked at it, and it all seemed fine, so I don't think they need to be sent back! She listened to the track of my 4-year-old daughter and me singing Mother, Tell Me the Story, first, and called me crying. That is a super-good mom/grandma thing to do...I am pretty sure she was sincere.
I am still so involved in the business side of this that it is hard for me to make that emotional connection to it. I am not quite sure how to feel about it yet. I think it was a great moment for my mom to have heard about it, heard just a few tracks of it, seen a few drafts of the artwork, and then to have 8 huge boxes delivered to her door, pull one out, touch it, feel it, see it and listen to it. I think she was proud of me in that moment...and I can understand that...I am just not quite there yet.
My coping mechanism my entire life has always been to pick a moment in the future, and think about it. When I was growing up, almost every night it was to lay there and think about my wedding day. It was always extremely abstract, blurry, generic, but it was just the feeling I was after. When I have a lot going on I will think about something in the future that will make me happy. Right now, I keep thinking about Christmas Day or January 1st.
I know that on Christmas I will be surrounded by my family, and the LONG crazy month that will be December, will be past me. I know on January 1st I will be looking at a clean slate of a year...and it won't be full yet. My friends and family know that I completely thrive on chaos....and I do...but every once in a while I need to go to my happy place, and right now, that is about 2 months in the future. In the meantime, I am going to try to enjoy this ride of performances, events, selling, promoting, and trying to look and sound fabulous. And I have a feeling, that on one of those two "happy place days" I will finally realize what I have achieved, and I might just have a very specific feeling about that, but for now, I will enjoy how my mom felt today when she had that very special delivery. Let the selling begin!