She opens the mail and actually reads the flyer. Macy's 2-day sale, extra savings from 8 to noon. There is a griddle for 17.99, she thinks; "Wow, we could all eat pancakes together instead of in shifts, or one pancake at a time." There is a portable DVD player for 99.99, she thinks: "We have a bunch of plane trips coming up, NOT on jetblue, that could come in handy...two headphone jacks? sign me up!" There is an aerobed on sale for 89.99, she thinks: "Our aerobed knock off just bit the dust, and we have company coming for Thanksgiving...I better get to this sale!"
The baby has croup the night before, but she HAS to get the deals. She drags the baby to the mall. There are two malls right next to each other, and she parks at the wrong one...oh well, she can walk the block, it's not that cold...of course she isn't thinking about all the purchases dancing in her head that she will have to schlepp back.
Chaos surrounds her as EVERYONE is trying to get their hands on the DVD player that is only 20 bucks if you spend 50. Every time she asks an employee about the PORTABLE DVD player, they don't listen and thinks she is talking about that one....finally someone understands and has the key to opening the portable dvd player cabinet.
She is carefully balancing her griddle, aerobed, portable dvd player and impulse-buy-but-very-necessary steamer on the stroller, with sick baby protesting holding hands. Now it's time to pick a line to stand in and it's Russian Roulette. She chooses well. There is a nice couple behind her with one item, the FRY DADDY. Sweet. She approaches the check out and hands Tara the 10 dollar off coupon which apparently you cannot use unless you are paying for your purchases with the Macy's charge card.
She only has two credit cards: a United Miles Plus Visa and Bloomingdales. She wants to get out of there and use the coupon, so she decides to open a Macy's account. She goes through the process...name, id, address, social security # etc., only to be told that she already has a Macy's credit card: She thinks..."well I wonder where it is..." Apparently you don't need the plastic to use the card....my what consumption has come to.
She checks out with her Macy's account, and then begins the carefully balanced walk on elevators, down stairs, up escalators and to her car. She is home 1 and a half hours after she started...not bad. She calls her husband and boasts about her deals...according to the receipt she saved $192.04. She told her husband that the aerobed was even cheaper than they thought...59.99 for a twin.
Her husband said: Honey, a twin sleeps one person. She said: No, it's double, twin...you know twins equals two. He explained that a double and a twin are not the same, and that twin indicates two separate beds for two separate people. This of course does not make sense to her, why would anyone call something a twin and then make it for only one person.
She considers going back the next morning, but just CAN'T do it. She finds a good deal on a queen aerobed on ebay: 82.90 and free shipping. The next day she opens her portable dvd player only to find that there is no remote control (as the box indicates), and the battery pack has one peg broken so it doesn't hook onto the base. She has already thrown the box and packaging away because it is recycling pick-up day, so feels less-than-optimistic about successfully exchanging it.
She has not opened the steamer yet because she is afraid of what might be wrong with it, nor has she tried out the griddle. Next time she sees the Macy's ad in the mail, she is going to recycle it, instead of reading it.