I had an audition on Friday for a Food Network show called Road Tasted.
It was a fun audition. They gave me a sheet with information about this restaurant in Miami. In the room, there were two casting associates who asked me to pretend that we were all driving in the car, on the way to Sonia's, and for me to talk to them about the restaurant really casually as we were driving there.
And this is what I said:
"Guys, I am taking you to this awesome restaurant called Sonia's Patties. She makes the most most amazing Jamaican Patties. I love mild beef, but YOU are going to love the curry chicken, because I know how you love curry...and YOU are going to want the sampler because I know how you love taking a bight of everyone's food, and I am a little OCD with my germs, and you are NOT getting a bight of mine.
"I love this restaurant because even though it is 2000 square feet, it feels so nice and homey. The most amazing thing about this restaurant, actually I think I already said what the most amazing thing was, but there is another amazing thing, and that is, that you can bring some patties home with you. They sell them in packs. I gave some to my cleaning lady for Christmas, and she was like: 'I have never had such a unique gift before, these patties are awesome!', and now she is a regular customer.
"I send a lot of people to Sonia, so she knows me, and whenever I go she is like: 'Thanks for sending people!'. You guys are gonna love it."
I am not sure if I was supposed to ramble on and on. I am not sure if they intended to interact with me, but they sure didn't...they just stared at the monitor as I made up stories about my imaginary cleaning lady.
After my impromptu Patties monologue, they asked me to do a special skill that they read from my resume. Which one did they choose? Whistling. So, I whistled Happy Birthday and as I was leaving I said something that ended with, "...we all get it eventually.", and one of the casting associates said: "Yup, just like herpes." And they laughed. A lot.
The thing is, whatever I had said, I am quite certain had nothing to do with an STD, nor was the conversation meant to go there at all, but her punch line was randomly funny, and even though it was about herpes, I am hoping they remember that they were entertained for a few minutes.