Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The Witch Story

Sorry it's taken so long Natasha....it's not really a great story, but a story nonetheless.

When my older daughter's kindergarten teacher asked for a parent volunteer to read a story to the class as part of their Halloween celebration, I knew I was the parent for the job. I knew the children weren't allowed costumes, but I asked if I could wear one and she said yes.

Then my mind started spinning.....I decided to be a witch...but not just any witch....like UNRECOGNIZABLE to my daughter and her classmates...witch. I then began my pursuit for the most perfect makeup. I started with the nose, but sadly everything out there is made of latex, and I am allergic...I even went so far as to research a gelatin version, but no dice.

I bought some liquid paint from ben nye in green, but was not happy with the results. If put on light I just looked sallow, and dark was too patchy and cracky. I was FRUSTRATED, so I turned to a pro makeup artist for help, and I found the PERFECT green, and some warts to boot.

Since I was on a sort of budget, I skipped the black hair wig, and just bought some black temporary hair spray, and a hat. I already had enough black clothes and some purple gloves (my plan of purple press-on nails thwarted page-turning)....so wardrobe was a non issue.

Then it was time to research books. I bought a few new titles that were perfect for audience participation: Room on the Broom and In the Haunted House. I also filled my Book Witch Case with a few we already owned, including another good group book: The Little Old Lady Who was Not Afraid of Anything.

So...Halloween morning, someone got sick on the train at my stop, so my babysitter was MAJORLY delayed. Lil sis was sick, so she couldn't go to school, which is why I got a sitter, and so I was stuck in full witch-wear wondering HOW to make everything happen. I decided to drive in and pray, literally pray for a parking spot out front of my daughters school in the middle of Manhattan where it is $.25 for every 15 minutes, max. 1 hour of parking....and have my sitter stay on the train and meet me at the school to pick up Lil Sis. Well, that plan, made in 2.7 panicked seconds, worked PERFECTLY...there was a spot and my babysitter arrived JUST as I did.

Since she was there with lil sis, I told them they could watch the performance, but only after I had been in the room for a little while, because I was sincere in my plight to not have my own daughter recognize me.

As I walked in, the front desk people (2), the security guard and the head maintenance man all jumped on the elevator with me because they "had to see the children's faces" when I went in the classroom. I wondered who was going to protect us from the bad people if they were all gone, but hey....who cares right?

Well, I had been practicing my witchiest voice, and even saying my name (I came up with Zoraga Zum), and the kids were pretty thrilled. I had a hard time reading their faces....some of them I thought were legitimately scared....one boy did break down into tears about 20 minutes into my presentation (I felt SO bad)....and after the 5 or so minutes that I was in there, when lil sis came in with my sitter, was when the kids actually figured out who I was. The teacher pulled me aside when it was over and said: "NO ONE, Not even your daughter knew who you were until lil sis walked in...NO ONE!"

Big sis of course will not admit this...she said she knew it was me all along...

After I read my stories and taught a song, I had to RUSH home, and transform into a Philly Cream cheese angel. This was perfect, because later that afternoon when I picked up big sis from school, I talked to a few of her classmates who told me all about the book witch who came to their class, and some of them STILL didn't know that they were actually talking to her. It's was rad.


Natasha said...

You are such a cool mom! I am glad you found the perfect green make-up! I am putting this in my "things to do as a cool mom" notebook!
Thanks for the story!

Rachel H said...

That really was an awesome witch look, the pale/faded cheeks were a really cool makeup touch.

LJ said...

Hilarious story! You are such a fun mom! Love the green makeup and the hat... :) I bet your daughter was thrilled. Thanks for sharing!

Kage said...

natasha, thanks....I think I should read your notebook for some more ideas!

onehm said...

YOU ROCK! I love this story.

tracy m said...

How much fun are you!? Goodness, you're easily the COOL mom.

And hey, if you ever want to do witch again, may I suggest the green concealer from MAC? It's what they use on Elphaba in Wicked.

Kage said...

tracy m, the girls at the makeup place mentioned that Elphaba used to use MAC, but now there is actually a color in the same stuff I used called Wicked, and so maybe there was a switch? I don't know, it wasn't clear and they were out of stock so who knows........I should have gone to MAC, I get a discount there, and the rest of the makeup was from there. dang.