Wednesday, March 12, 2008

To Big Sis.

I now have a 6-year-old.

Dear Big Sis,
I gave you a name that is much cooler than Big Sis by the way.

I was feeling so overwhelmed in February. A funeral, an unexpected trip, a virus that I struggled to overcome for 2 weeks, and lots of auditions and callbacks that kept me on my toes. I knew your birthday was coming up. I knew that several kids in your class had had what I considered to be extravagant birthday parties. I just couldn't get it together to throw you a party like this, or any party for that matter. I baited you with this:

"You can have a party OR YOU CAN HAVE A BIG SURPRISE!" (please pick the surprise, please pick the surprise). You chose the surprise. I was relieved. I ordered 3 tickets for Mary Poppins for the day after your birthday. That was the surprise. When it came down to it, I got sick and you got to go to Mary Poppins with your Grandma instead of me. I wished I could have been part of your first broadway show, but in the end, I was just glad that my health issues did not stand in the way of your birthday celebrations. And I am SO glad we didn't have to postpone or call off a party.

My sweetest girl, you are so special. I found a journal entry that I wrote about you when you were a baby about your disposition and your most cherished personality traits. I had to double check the date of the entry because it is still so true today. You are so open to meeting new people and learning about them and magnifying what is great about them. If I had to hand-pick a best friend, it would be you. Your love for all of the arts and reading is so pronounced and I enjoy discovering literature and music with you. Your prayers are so thoughtful and specific and I feel extra cared for when you have uttered a prayer for me.

I still can't quite wrap my brain around the fact that I have a daughter who is 6 years old. I hope that you will continue to be patient with me and all my faults.

Happy Birthday my dearest darling.

Love, Mommy


amydc said...

Happy Birthday Big Sis.
Kristy- What a sweet, heartfelt post. There are absolutely no words to describe how motherhood will make you feel & how it changes your life in ways you never thought possible. Thanks for sharing. You rock!

Melissa said...

Loved reading this. So sweet. Can't believe that special little gal we loved in nursery visits is six!

Anonymous said...

Ok, so I know I'm pregnant, but that post just made me bawl like a baby. I can't believe D is six, I can't believe you (finalllly) bought MP tix, and I'm just so sad that you weren't able to go. My heart hurts a little for you, K.


LJ said...

This made me cry too- and I'm not pregnant! What a beautiful letter for a beautiful little girl. She looks SO much like you! I'm so sorry you couldn't go to Mary Poppins. :( How frustrating. She'll just have to go again when you're all better!

Aprilyn said...

What a great tribute to your daughter. I wish I could meet you all. I'm sure your little girls are so cute! I hope you get your meds all figured out soon so you can get feeling better.