My Loves ~ March

When I am forced to my bed with a debilitating health issue, which has been my story more times than I care to count, I always rise with a greater appreciation of my blessings.

This month I have been forged ever closer to my Posse. My loves have rallied around me without missing a beat or shedding a tear. They have done nothing but treat me with love and honor and energy and carried my passions and enthusiasms for me, when I could not do it myself.

DH:
Acting when I made that disoriented phone call.
Coming Straight home, when my friend reported my state.
Staying with me in the hospital hour after hour, day after day.
Getting me that bedpan and once my stomach was feeling better a few days later, that milkshake.
Listening to my thoughts and fears and sorrows.
Tackling this with peace and serenity and unconditional love.
Battling your stomach flu in between the hospital and your business trip.
Working so hard at your job, church responsibilities and the kids, when you could see I couldn't do it all.
Spending Friday with us at the egg hunt and lunch and costco.
Hanging out with your BFF Lil Sis while Big Sis and I were out with friends.
Taking big Sis and Grammy to Mary Poppins and enjoying so much of it.
Agreeing to let us go on a little trip in April.
Figuring out how to pay all the medical bills.
Doing three loads of dishes on Sunday around the Easter meal.
Cleaning the house.
Washing Lil Sis' sheets.

Big Sis:
Turning 6. You are so excited to be 6.
Your joy at receiving a Smith Corona Typewriter for your birthday, and going to see Mary Poppins.
Thinking that Grammy came to celebrate your birthday (as opposed to caring for your sick mom).
Practicing so many hours with me.
Doing so well at your Violin Recital.
Being so excited about reading your books.
Reading Hugo Cabret with me.
Taking your ballet class seriously, and your assignment as leader as well.
Being excited about Easter Dinner and desiring to keep the house clean because we were expecting guests.
Loving all the easter festivities.
Going to see Horton Hears a Who with you. You retelling the 96 daughters part for weeks.
Helping me with Easter Dinner.

Lil Sis:
Doing so well at your potty training. Always telling us like this: FRANTIC TONE: "I'm GOING pee-pees or I'm GOING big giants"
Being SO brave at your first dentist appointment.
Being such a good walker to the subway since the car priveleges have changed.
When Daddy announced we were going, you being so dissappointed that we had to go on the train again, your delight when you realized, Daddy still drives!
Looking so cute in your Easter outfit, and knowing it.
Singing more and more, especially Little Einsteins.
Your Dance moves...they are awesome, especially when we watch Dancing With the Stars.
Asking me: What Time is it? multiple times a day
Being a great roommate with Grammy.

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Gradually Going Green

I enjoy cooking but I am terrible at meal planning and making TIME to cook. Since I have been taking a break from the chaotic part of life, I have found a lot of strength and comfort in grounding myself in self-care.

Part of that self-care has involved being even MORE aware of my diet. I feel that I make pretty good choices when it comes to what I put into my body. I choose fruits and vegetables, avoid red meat, and eat very little meat, eat whole grains, naturally low-fat foods etc. etc. BUT, I have been extra aware of my diet since my health has been a bit in the balance of late.

One effort I have made is to subscribe to a new food delivery service. Urban Organic delivers organic produce to my door every Friday. I get organic produce and I don't have to drive to get it! I get to check the website each week to see what I am going to get. This also gives me an added challenge of figuring out how to prepare the produce and the added bonus of exposing my kids to produce that maybe I hadn't thought of before.

This week I made a mushroom and onion casserole and a lentil soup with most of the veggies. My girls tried plums again, they liked them this time, and they downed the soup! I am looking forward to next week's delivery because it seems quite fruit-heavy and that means less cooking for me! It will be the perfect bit of food for us when we return home from a long trip.

I'm off to put my box into the recycling bin. No plastic bags wasted here! Just delicious dishes made with organic fruits and vegetables.

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Bloody Brain

I got a call yesterday afternoon from my doctor.

She finally opened up the dvd that I brought her with my Cat Scan and MRI on it. She and the radiologist at Cornell looked it over and decided together that I do not have calcifications on my brain, but the spots were/are blood.

I immediately started freaking out as I stood in the middle of busy Times Square with my little daughter and my husband thousands of miles away. I said to her: "I'm freaking out right now."

She assured me that everything is going to be ok and is ok, but that I needed to have a second MRI performed.

I, of course went to that place where I picture blood gushing out of my head or congealing and causing a stroke or any manner of hideous bloody events occurring simultaneously and rendering me incapable of getting my daughters home to safety.

Then I had to remind myself that the doctor said everything was ok and that I have been fine and in fact getting better and better with each passing day. The main conclusion that she made is that the spots on my MRI did not cause the seizure, but were a result of the head trauma. I do not know where this next leads. I imagine the results of the EEG that I had on Friday will be rather imperative to the diagnosis that looms in the distance.

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Quote of the Week

I had to buy the girls some new summery shoes for our CA trip next week.

I picked out some Airwalk flip-flops with gemstones from payless.

I pulled them out to show Big Sis and she exclaimed:
"Oh! Those are SO my style!"

Love it....especially because I buy all of her clothes and as a result, dictate her style!

I picked up another little something for myself in case I run into some water:



I saw this on a mannequin at Nordstrom a few months ago and I haven't stopped thinking about it. And that is really telling because I am not a swimmy/swimsuit person at ALL.

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Back on Track

I know the tax returns are on their way so.....please consider donating a small portion of that to the Revlon Run/Walk for Women's Cancers. I have about 1 month left to raise $585- THAT's IT! Just 585 dollars....come on......we can make that happen right? Click here if you feel so inclined. And of course, THANK YOU!



PS. If I raise the entire 2000, I am gifted with an ipod shuffle, which I plan to give to one of the 18 other teammate's who raises the most money....so donate for THEM too.

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Wrangling

My DH thinks I am crazy that since my hospitalization which began 3 weeks ago today, I have had 3 jobs since then.

It doesn't matter to him when I say: The jobs were just a few hours long, and spread apart and no big deal...or whatever explanation I make. He says he's known me almost 11 years and I have always had 41,000 things going on at once and even though I have hit a major bump in the road, I am still the same old me.

Ok, maybe he's right.

I am exhausted today though, and my wrangling job was only about 1.5 hours long.

I found it extremely ironic that this wrangling job required me to wrangle from a 15 foot high ladder. I am a little dizzy from my new medicine, so I made that known and had a spotter there the whole time, but it was ridiculous thinking that I am a seizure-risk attop a very high ladder. Those are times when I am perfectly fine to be on the meds....

The job itself? For a PBS ad with Grover and a little boy outside looking up at the moon and stars with a telescope nearby (that's why I had to be so high, I was the moon, after all). Grover of course was very well-behaved for his shoot in the morning, and the afternoon was just a short hour of rotating 3 of the sweetest little boys in the frame to later be spliced in next to Grover himself. I can't wait to see it come out this Summer.

This is my second time working with famed Muppet photographer John E. Barrett. We did the Eebee's covers together. He specializes in shooting Muppets! There is an exhibit of his photos at the Museum of Television and Radio here in NYC. I really need to check it out.

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Appointment

Yesterday I had my appointment with the Epileptologist.

In my wildest dreams I was hoping that she could just look at me and spit out personalized information from what I have, why I had a seizure and the exact right treatment for me! I realize that this would most likely stay a dream and that the reality would be quite different, which it was.

She listened to me and took a lot of notes on her computer (their office is paper-free! HURRAY! Green!) and asked a lot of questions. When I explained the hospital diagnosis of 2003 meningitis = old calcifications in my brain = partial seizures = possible epilepsy, she was not on board with that "story" (as she called it). Even though that makes a lot of sense to me and rings true for me, I am grateful that she has ordered her own tests and is going to make her own diagnosis. That is what a 2nd opinion is for after all.

So, I will know more at the end of April. Yes, that's right, the last day of April to be exact.

In the meantime it seems to me that I will in the end have one of two scenarios.

1. 10% of people have one seizure in their lifetime. If mine was a one time event, unfortunately, in order to prove that I am not an epileptic (epilepsy defined as 2 or more seizures), I can't have another seizure in the next 2 years (or ever). Since I experienced the grand mal seizure (the worst one), the doctor needs to take measures to prevent that happening again, if it is a possibility, and so I must be on anti-seizure meds. I have learned that you can still have seizures while on meds, and if that happens the epilepsy diagnosis would be imminent. If after 2 years on the meds I have no seizure, than I will go off the medicine and be classified in that 10% of the population that has a 1 time seizure.

2. I go on anti-seizure meds and I have more seizures and my EEG and other tests results also indicate seizure activity and I am officially diagnosed with epilepsy. I have read that many who suffer from epilepsy can get to the point where they are off medicine when they are seizure-free for a period of time, usually 2 years.

The doctor has not spelled this out to me in this way....it's just my own deductions after reading a lot and having this appointment. I feel that whether I am officially diagnosed with epilepsy or not, I am living like I have it for the next 2 years. The only bit of hope the doctor gave me is if I remain seizure-free on my prescription for 3 months, she will give me driving privileges back. Driving again seems risky, but I have to tell myself that plenty of people recover from this and drive again. I look at that as a comforting thought in some ways and very scary in others. Never mind the drunks and the drug addicts out there, now we have the possible-seizures-occuring-peops out there too!

I have been trying to really concentrate on not having a seizure in other dangerous situations. I sit on the bench at the subway, and while the train pulls up I think to myself: "Ok, just stand up and make it from here to inside the train, it's just going to take about 2 seconds. You can do this, just stay standing, stay alert, DO NOT have a seizure right here in between this bench and those doors." or; "Alright, I just have about 40 steps to go down to get to the platform. Just concentrate on counting the steps and holding onto the rail, and do not pass out here or have a seizure, just walk safely down." In truth I don't think about it that much...I mean I have crossed lots of streets and ridden lots of subways in the past few weeks, but every once in a while it occurs to me that this is a possibility, and I try to survive.

I started my new medicine last night. I felt that familiar feeling this morning of wanting to stay in a deep sleep. It's VERY difficult to be roused in the morning, there is this element of weight behind the eyes on this medicine that makes it hard to roll out of bed. I will be on the low dose of this for 2 weeks, and I expect I will do pretty well. I am seriously dreading doubling it in 2 weeks though. Like, SERIOUSLY dreading it. For now I will just enjoy the first two weeks and hope for no other crazy side effects. I am ignoring the one listed as psychosis. Oh, PLEASE! I am already psychotic enough! Hey?!, maybe my own mentalness will actually counteract psychosis as a side effect! Here's hoping....

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My Summer Uniform

I pass The Gap all the time, but lately these skirts have been catching my eye.

In about no time it will be hot out and I will be in my summer uniform, which is usually an airy, floaty skirt and a t-shirt. This summer I have added this skirt in grey and brown and this blue one. I am way looking forward to trying them out in California soon.

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Life Imitating Work

In 2004 I did my first big pharmaceutical print job for an anti-seizure drug.

When it came out, I loved the patient profile they gave me, you can see it below...a name, weight, age etc. Do I really look 17 here? I was 24.

As I am mentally preparing for my doctor's appointment today, the information in this print job I did actually appeals to me, I will probably ask my doctor about this drug today.

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The Weekend Report

I have had such a wonderful weekend. It is the first time I felt like myself in several weeks. On Friday morning my DH and I took the kids to an Easter Egg Hunt at the church. We spent a lazy morning eating candy and socializing with our friends. We dragged some of those friends to an equally lazy lunch and after a stop at Costco had a low-key Friday night.

Saturday morning the Easter Bunny had made a visit. The girls enjoyed their eggs and Easter treasures. One of the goodies was the DVD Enchanted. It is my new favorite movie. It was my first time seeing it and I really did love it. I think it might be my new goal to create a production number in Central Park this summer a la Giselle.

Then I cooked for Easter. I rarely cook a meal with so much food, but I have to say it turned out so well. I warmed a ham from Costco and with that had spinach/strawberry salad, blanched asparagus, blanched greenbeans and carrots, maple carrots, and dill new potatoes. One of my guests brought delicious orange rolls and an Easter Cake. Everything tasted so good. I was very full and very happy.


Tonight as I write this, I am tired. BUT it's not that groggy, medicated, hazy tired. It is that good tired, the kind I get when I have just smiled a lot and shared a lot of good times with people who I love.

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Happy Easter

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Little Rockers

Remember when I wrangled for MTV? Well, the ad came out, and it's a far cry from Ralph Lauren in the Hamptons, let me just tell you that.

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FREE STUFF

My BFF is giving away something really cool here. Check it out, you'll be glad you did!

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Slurpy

Imagine a sink full of water and it is slowly spinning around into a vortex and being pulled almost against it's will, down the drain.

This is what I call the slurpy feeling. This is the feeling that happens to me from about 9 am to 10:30 in the morning. It starts about a 1/2 hour after I take my morning dose of pills. This is what I call my slurpy feeling. I don't feel tired, I just feel a little spinny and like the spinny feeling wants to close my eyes, and if it really has it's way, put me straight away to sleep.

Some people might call this drowsy, but I call it slurpy because it is against my will and I don't feel tired at all.

Yesterday, however I woke up with a bad rash on my neck and all over my feet and legs. I considered Hand-Foot-Mouth disease, but there was no rash on my hands, and the neck does NOT count as the mouth. I had a sneaky suspicion this had something to do with my medicine. I called the perscribing doctor and he was really great about getting back to me with answers.

So, the answer is I am taking the next day and a half to take as little of the medicine as possible to get off of it right away (but you can't go cold turkey with these meds), because apparently the rash will just get worse if I stay on the medicine. I will have a medicine-free weekend because I am seeing the specialist on Monday. The doctor thinks it is very unlikely that I will have a seizure this weekend, so of course I am like: THEN WHY DO I HAVE TO BE ON THESE CRAZY PILLS? in my head, but I will save my multitude of questions for the doctor on Monday...I am not sure our 1 hour appointment will be enough time.

I am SO looking forward to about 2 and a half days with no pills (assuming she (the epileptologist) will put me back on different pills), just to check in with the real me. I want my arms to stop feeling like jello and my brain to stop feeling slurpy. I want to fall asleep without twitching and itching. I want my wrists to feel still when I type. I want to find my big-girl words again and have energy to get through my day. I want to see clearly and not like my right side is always a little blurry. I would love to get some exercise in and to feel real feelings, not just numb and neutral feelings. Knowing I have 2 1/2 days of that almost makes me want to cry with joy. 2 1/2 days! Let's just hope they remain seizure-free! Whee!

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Gratitude

I just wanted to write how grateful I am for all of the support I feel from my family and friends both close to me and far away.

I have had goodies sent my way, babysitting done, meals made and delivered, text messages, phone calls, emails, cards, comments blogged, prayers uttered, tears cried and kind words all around. I have had so many people offer to drive me places, offer their service from thousands of miles away, offered to fly out if I needed them to, and offered personal stories that coincide with my struggles right now.

I am just so grateful to all of you for crowding beneath me and buoying me up during my transition. I had a really good day yesterday and just like the weather is 75% of the time the same today as it was yesterday, that is what I am hoping for today as well.

Thanks as always for reading and writing and I look forward to what the Glass Posse will encounter next, but I am still enjoying the mini-break while I work rest everything out.

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Monday

I don't know if this is the way all anti-seizure meds work, but for mine, every 3 days for the first 9 days, the dosage increases. I had my last increase just in time for the weekend, so now I am at the full dose.

I had a difficult time with this last adjustment. This weekend was really hard. On Saturday I went to hang out with a few of my girlfriends and one of them said this was the most mellow she had ever seen me, and that she had never witnessed me talk as slow as I was talking. When I was done hanging out for a few hours I came right home and fell right to sleep.

On Sunday morning I could barely keep my eyes open during church, so I went to the lobby and fell sleep on the couch after I had had a good cry in frustration over my drowsy, drowsy state.

This morning I felt the drowsy feeling come on within an hour of taking my medicine, so I allowed myself 30 minutes to lie down. It was not the most relaxing with my 2-year-old practically bouncing on my head, and she almost brought me to tears again. I HAD to lay down though because the girls and I had a print job this afternoon. I know, I know...I was feeling really unsure about it, but I was doing it for a colleague of mine, and I thought it would be a good experiment to see how I am really doing.

Well, I learned that being out and about is working for me. I felt very energized by being with people and by being on set. I do feel quite tired tonight, and I don't know if I could keep up a daily pace of being out there and doing it, but this afternoon for 4 hours went really well.

I was really impressed with the makeup artist's camouflage techniques. Even 6 hours later, when I took the picture, I really couldn't see my blemish. He did an amazing job.

This is my face tonight after washing it:


This is my face after the makeup artist worked his magic, before I washed it tonight.


Anyway, baby steps...a little progress every day.

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Visine

So, be on the look out. Visine is supposed to be out by March 15th, that's today. So, if you see it, let me know. It's only 15 seconds and it is a close up of me itching my eyes and then smiling with relief.

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Tears

The past week has been full of tears.

Especially at night, I get quite weepy for a variety of reasons. Tears of Joy thankfully outnumber Tears of Sorrow, but I admit there has been a lot of both.

Tonight I am tearing up because my mom has been here with me taking care of us all week, and she is leaving in the morning. I wrote a letter to her here. I will miss her so much, but I am so grateful that she took time out of her life to help us.

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Face

There's still a little something on my face.

It doesn't bother me, but I am still getting some questions, mostly this one: "What happened?" or "What happened to your face?" with a look of horror.

There is no short answer, so now I feel that the whole world knows what I'm going through. And I am ok with that for the most part.

While my mom is here I am doing my best to do as many errands as possible that require the car. I did Costco and Target and also went back to the hospital to get the records from the tests that I had done. I took some time yesterday to write out my pages of questions that I have for the specialist I will see soon.

That's the update from here.

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To Big Sis.

I now have a 6-year-old.

Dear Big Sis,
I gave you a name that is much cooler than Big Sis by the way.

I was feeling so overwhelmed in February. A funeral, an unexpected trip, a virus that I struggled to overcome for 2 weeks, and lots of auditions and callbacks that kept me on my toes. I knew your birthday was coming up. I knew that several kids in your class had had what I considered to be extravagant birthday parties. I just couldn't get it together to throw you a party like this, or any party for that matter. I baited you with this:

"You can have a party OR YOU CAN HAVE A BIG SURPRISE!" (please pick the surprise, please pick the surprise). You chose the surprise. I was relieved. I ordered 3 tickets for Mary Poppins for the day after your birthday. That was the surprise. When it came down to it, I got sick and you got to go to Mary Poppins with your Grandma instead of me. I wished I could have been part of your first broadway show, but in the end, I was just glad that my health issues did not stand in the way of your birthday celebrations. And I am SO glad we didn't have to postpone or call off a party.

My sweetest girl, you are so special. I found a journal entry that I wrote about you when you were a baby about your disposition and your most cherished personality traits. I had to double check the date of the entry because it is still so true today. You are so open to meeting new people and learning about them and magnifying what is great about them. If I had to hand-pick a best friend, it would be you. Your love for all of the arts and reading is so pronounced and I enjoy discovering literature and music with you. Your prayers are so thoughtful and specific and I feel extra cared for when you have uttered a prayer for me.

I still can't quite wrap my brain around the fact that I have a daughter who is 6 years old. I hope that you will continue to be patient with me and all my faults.

Happy Birthday my dearest darling.

Love, Mommy

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April Parenting Magazine

I took my first official outing yesterday to see my daughter play in a concert at her school. She played so well. My head felt really great and as close to normal as it has felt in a long time when I listened to the 6th and 7th graders play the clarinet and piano. Something about the sound really pierced through the haze.

After the concert we stopped by Barnes and Noble and picked up a copy of April Parenting Magazine. On page 45 you can see Lil Sis in me in a Motts Ad and on Pg. 90 you can see us modeling for a story on Finances. Lil Sis' body language in the money story is SO her. I love it.

I haven't had a chance to scan it in, so go check it out the next time you see it, it's ParenTING not Parents.

Today I am feeling a little more like normal. It is really hard to force myself out of bed in the morning, but once I wake up I feel pretty good. I think the medicine slowing my brain waves down makes it harder for me to get them going in the morning. Yesterday after I had my Diet Coke at lunch I was doing much better, so I might try and have it a little earlier this morning.

Yesterday at school a lot of Big Sis' classmates wanted to know what happened to my face, so to answer your question, it's still looking pretty beat up. There is a quarter-size purple spot that seems to be slowly falling lower and lower. It started right under my eye and now it's near my cheekbone. I will be most interested to see just where that goes.

I am very thrilled to report that I have an appointment with a specialist on the 24th. I am hoping to get a lot of answers to my burning questions about my condition and my future. Thanks for all your support, thoughts and prayers.

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Scenes from a Queens ER

A sweet little Indian girl dressed in her beautiful traditional Hindu clothing and white doctor's jacket, approached me with a smile and a needle.

She made some explanation about giving me a Heplock for an IV because my bloodwork showed I was dehydrated. She stuck me the first time. Having had experience with IV's I was pretty sure she didn't quite have it right. I questioned the placement of that knife-like needle rolling around and being jammed further and further under my skin. I questioned the continued massage and jab motions that continued for several minutes. I tried to bight my tongue and find a happy place. Oh, there's my happy place! It's nestled in the throbbing pain of my concussion. Ah, sweet relief.

She blamed her failed attempt on the collapsed veins of my dehydrated self, and tried a second time. Her second attempt was not quite as excruciating, but I was lost in the birds and roses of my concussion-land. She brought me back to reality by explaining she promised to try only once more. During her third attempt, a second expert came by and started jabbing with her. I think I chose this third time to utter: "Seriously?" and then went back to my concussion-happy place.

She apologized and in her very sweet and proper way told me how brave I was, and left me with three bleeding holes in my hand, but no heplock.

The second dude came over with far less serious clothing on and stabbed me gently and got the heplock going lickity split. I was grateful to his expertise.

After I had my fluids going at a steady clip, I got a new roommate in the ER. Gladys had a black eye far worse than mine. She had been drinking like a sailor, and as a result was talking like one too. There was a tiny little kid sitting right near her bed watching everything she did. It was disconcerting, especially when she managed to take her pants and underpants off and was walking around naked from the waste down. Gladys! Put your clothes on! The ER staff had had about enough of her shenanigans after about an hour and a few white-jackets came right over and put her to sleep, with a needle. I was glad they got that one stuck right in the right spot. Oh Gladys.

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BAM!

THESE IMAGES ARE REVERSED, NOT SURE WHY

On Wednesday I woke up at around noon. I was laying on my husbands side of the bed and I didn't understand why I felt so fatigued and why I was taking a nap in the middle of the morning when I had a long list of things to accomplish. I didn't understand why I still had my workout clothes on and all of a sudden I panicked: Where are the kids? What day is it? Why does my head hurt?


I went into the bathroom and saw that I had a goose egg on the right side of my face. I called my husband and asked where my kids were and what day it was and for some reason I concerned him enough to call my friend and get her over to check on me. Once she got to me and saw my injuries she determined I needed to be seen by a doctor. Mine did not have a free appointment until later that afternoon, so my husband came home from work and took me to the ER.

I was admitted later that night and had every single test done over the next few days. My injury was a concussion. I vommitted as soon as I got to the ER and I had to fight knife-like pain all over my head for the first 36 hours.

It didn't occur to me that I had a seizure or passed out or anything, until I spoke to my Dad today. I told him that half of my teeth were hurting so bad and my jaws were so sore. He explained that that is what a seizure does, it causes clenching of the mouth. That also explains why several different doctors checked my tongue to make sure I hadn't bitten it.

The other thing that I was really paying attention to was the fact that I started feeling the August Dizzy feeling again on Saturday. The neurologist later explained that those feelings are warnings to my body when a seizure might happen and to pay attention to it.

So I didn't pass about 3 of my tests and all of them told the same story, that I had some scar tissue from the meningitis that I suffered from in 2003, that promoted seizure activity. Since I only had one seizure, I don't officially have epilepsy, but I am still being treated with epilepsy drugs, which also means no driving for me for the next year.

My DH was so loving and caring for me from the second he got home to find me on that Wednesday until today when I was bossing him around about breaking me out of the hospital! He even endured about 5 different doctors excusing him from my room so that they could ask me if HE gave me the blue eye. Nope, sorry, I did that to myself and I have NO recollection of how, where or when it happened...chew on that one!

I am glad I got answers and I am glad it is treatable. I am glad that my mom is coming out to take care of me while I recover from my head injury. I am trying not to be down about this new lease in life. I need to start researching right......now!

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Tuesday, March 4th

6 AM. Alarm Goes Off.

I roll out of bed and quickly turn it off so as not to wake up the chilly willies.

Shower and Blow Dry hair, bug my DH as he is doing his normal morning duties.

6:20 Try to get Lil Sis to go potty with no success, pass that off to DH too.

7 AM Practice Violin for 30 minutes.

7:45 Have a quick scripture, family prayer and say goodbye to DH and Big Sis.

Get dressed, gather my stuff, check my email, give the babysitter instructions

8:20 Out the door.

8:59 Arrive at my wrangling job 1 minute early.

9:00-10:46 wrangle the crap out of 4 different kids....thank my lucky stars that I am actually getting released SO early.

11:14 arrive at my 11:30 go-see for Omnaris in the Flat Iron district. Wait. Smile, Show discomfort, Flare my nostrils while breathing in, look relieved.

12:02 Arrive at my Nikon go-see in Times Square. Smile with teeth and without, stop to go to the bathroom.

12:30 Arrive at my Sundisk go-see in Soho. I am the only one there, I am in and out in about 2 minutes and 15 seconds. Seriously, my day could not be going better.

Head to the 6 train and head to Union Square. Chant: "Stay Sunny, Stay Sunny, Stay Sunny!" for about a 15 minute walk. Stop to get lunch even though I am not hungry, bring it with me.

1:04 Arrive at my 2:00 PM audition for LG (still not sure what that is...some sort of phone thingy with a cross promotion of a new feature film coming out), knowing that I will be waiting for an hour but totally ok with that because I want to be the first one signed in.

2:04 Leave the audition and realize it is raining and I don't have an umbrella. Grab the first cab I see and double-check that it has a working debit card machine. Arrive at my 3:00 PM audition at 2:15. I hear the girl who has signed up right behind me call her agent about her next audition, which happens to be the same as mine. Her time is 1 hour before mine. The compassionate side of me wants to let her go in front of me, but I have my day timed down to the minute, and I can't help her out. At 2:30 I do the Olive Garden audition and then run out in the rain again.

I hailed 4 different cabs, the 4th was the 1st to have a working debit card machine. Took it from 49th and 3rd across town to pick up my daughter. She jumps in the cab and we head all the way down to the Meat District. When I go to pay the debit card machine actually does NOT work.

I jump out and go to the archaic ATM at the gas station. I press the buttons and get $20 out when I really want $40. I stifle an expletive because I don't want to pay the stupid ATM fee twice, but I have no choice because I have no cash. Do the ATM all over again so that now I have a full $40 dollars at the cost of about $8-. I give the cab guy a generous tip for having to wait (even though the machine was not my fault), and don't even wait for my receipt, because remember...it's RAINING!

3:45 Arrive 10 minutes early for my final audition for the day. AND there are free cupcakes that have the VISA logo on it, so Big Sis and I get to have a treat while we wait. Notice that the girl from the Olive Garden audition (who was going to be late and I didn't exercise compassion on) was signed in right before me, which I found interesting considering I had to take such a roundabout route (pick up Big Sis, ATM drama) to get to the audition.

4:06 Perform my best REACH toothbrush audition, then walk to the nearest subway and arrive home at the exact time that my DH does.

5:20 Spaghetti Night!

6:00 PM Second violin practice

6:30 Reading with Big Sis, tucked in by 6:52

7:15 Have a quick Girls night a few blocks away.

9:00 Arrive home to watch MSNBC and the primary results.

10:15 Finish this post.

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It's Good to be Two

Oh my little one, I wish I could spend the day with you today, but I have to wrangle for the first half of my day, and fit in 3 auditions and 3 go-sees during the second half of my day. How I am going to do that I have yet to find out...but you just do your puzzles and your pee-pees and poo-poos in the potty, and we can talk about our days when I get home.

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Revlon Run/Walk UPDATE

$760- left to go. PLEASE consider donating to the Revlon Run Walk. $2000 is my goal, I am more than halfway there. Every little bit helps.

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My Loves February

Big Sis:
Going to the Rally with me.
Sitting down and watching CNN with me to learn about the candidates
Being so good about going to my last minute audition.
Showing interest in singing with me at the funeral
Composing on your violin all afternoon.
Choosing to read in the morning instead of watching tv.
The way you say "LiTTle Bear" while reading Little Bear.
Organizing our FHE

Lil Sis:
Obama 08! New York.....City.
The way you say Ridicalus
Your fascination with my mud mask
Your little sitting dance during The View and your sweet little high five to Ms. Berkner herself.
All the potty training stories: "Emergency! Emergency! Lil Sis pee-peed on the ground!" and screaming at me across the apartment: "I'm----GOING-----BIG----GIANTS!" (Big Giants = Poop because one day you pooped and Dad said: "Whoa, that was a big giant poop!")

DH:
Bear Hugs during Grief.
Being open about change....for your hair at least.
Taking the girls to the polling place at 6:30 in the morning, because of their Obama Fever, even though you voted for Mitt.
Cleaning the house and taking care of the girls and me while I was sick...so very sick.
Considering changing your vote. How surprising.
Your new short haircut.
Making oatmeal for yourself when I just cannot cook.

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