So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye

2009, I am not quite ready for you...please, come gently, don't bowl me over. 2008 was a bully....I need a break...thanks.

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December Loves

DH:
Discovering a new part of Central Park with you on your day off after Thanksgiving.
Going to the tailor with you.
Workout schedule: you staying skinny, me, staying sane!
Listening to me process after therapy
Inspecting the clean house on Thursdays.
Being excited about my Bloomingdales purchases.
Supporting me through all the stuff...
Helping me with my new software program
Being so "boy" about watching the Firefighters tear apart a building.
Heading out to Rockefeller Center and the tourists, two days after Christmas.
Your face when you realized I had to jump in the pool to save our daughter.
Making up stories with Lil Sis about someone named Julio and a shark that ate a princess.

Lil Sis:
Watching you dance it out at the Father Goose concert at Winter's Eve.
Being dissappointed that we hadn't had a family dinner, after 4 days straight of family dinners!
Asking for SLEG music.
Singing with you for the first time.
Trying to fall asleep, nose to nose....and you kissing me on the nose when I said I needed to go...
All you want Santa to bring you is a swimsuit, you silly girl.
Skype Caroling with you....you did a good job with Silent Night, your fa-la-las and we wish you a merry christmas.
Mom, I can only know Dasher and Francer.
The glitter after the bath bomb....just like Edward in Twilight.
Turning the lights on and off in the hotel, all day long.
Infatuation with phones and phonebooks whenever we stay in a hotel.
Asking me why I got in the pool with my clothes on.

Big Sis:
Chatting with you on the way to school.
Telling me about John Lennon, his murder and the guy that was named David, something something who shot him, and the bad word that is in that song Imagine....heaven and hall....

It's hell honey...we'll talk about it later.

Wearing the black sparkly converse for your concert....you let me make the fashion decisions for once!
Writing a letter to Santa, and asking him to bring a present for your sister.
Asking why Homeless people have clothes.
Caroling with you at the nursing home. You did a good job singing in the little trio of girls.
After playing Silent Night on her new violin at church: Mom, so many people told me I was so awesome.
Thanking me SO MUCH for Tinkerbell DVD and the Junie B Jones Top Secret Personal Beeswax Book I got you for Christmas.
Believing in Santa Claus.
Describing Christmas as "unusual"
Asking to be my cuddlebug, to help you fall asleep at the hotel.

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TPT: Tuesday Edition

All her daughter wanted for Christmas was a swimsuit.

When her husband suggested they take a little trip to the Berkshires between Christmas and New Years, she insisted he book them in a hotel with an indoor pool. After much searching, he found the right hotel with the right amenities in the right place at the right rate.

Off they went.

At their first pit stop, she took her two daughters into a gas station store to use the restroom. Once they located it in the back, she opened the door to find someone already using it. Whoops. Then she glanced at Big Sis who was holding her nose and had "that look" on her face. She yelled: "Run, run, out the door...." but they didn't make it. Luckily a nice maintenance man was quick with his mop.

After her husband combed the puke out of her hair and changed her two tops (sweater, shirt) and cleaned her shoes, they were on the road again, without even using the facility.

Then came the speeding ticket...but really that ended up being non-eventful.

That night it was time to swim and she realized that she had not packed the swimsuit that Santa brought for Lil Sis. The primary reason for this being that she let Big Sis pack for both girls, and she didn't even double check that packing job...perhaps the fumes from the fire were making her slow-brained. Luckily their waitress directed them to the Outlets up the road where she found a swimsuit for Lil Sis. Phewsh, that is the third or maybe fourth time she has bought swimsuits on a trip because she has forgotten to pack them. Stupid.

The pool was not kid-friendly. It started at around 4.5 feet and went up to 8.5 feet. Thankfully, the hotel provided noodles. Even she used one, because the treading water was getting old. After a few hours of fun in the swim, they headed to bed.

The alarm clock went off at midnight. Stupid.

The next day they returned to the outlet mall to return the panties/undershirt combination that she bought at one store to be her daughters "swimsuit" because store after store had none in stock (until the last store she tried)...and then they all-three scored the mother-load at the J. Crew outlet. The afternoon was getting colder, windier and snowier, so she suggested an afternoon swim, followed by a cozy dinner and bed.

She made the announcement: "I am not swimming." The family was mildly disappointed. She explained that she doesn't particularly enjoy swimming, and the clean-up, blow-drying hair, being cold, wearing a swimsuit etc., was just not on her agenda that afternoon. She went down to the pool with her kindle and a people magazine. She even wore her scarf and winter hat, boots, and the obvious sweater and corduroys...the high was only 31 that day.

She sat, took a little video and photos of the rest of the posse, just to document: Swimming in the Berkshires, and then settled into her novel. After just a few pages (clicks) of reading, her husband called her: "Hey, I am going to swim down to the deep end and back. The girls will be fine, I just want you to watch them...did you hear me?" She guessed she looked unresponsive, but she DID hear him.

She knew they would be fine, they had become quite proficient at the noodles. She almost went back to reading, but instead, kept a sharp eye on Lil Sis. And like that, Lil Sis was sinking, sinking, head not coming up, noodle floating away, and her just UNDER....and UNDER some more.

She leapt from her chair and called her husband and the other Dad to get her, but they were too far away, and she was not coming up.

In she jumped.

She grabbed Lil Sis, who was coughing a little, then climbed the stairs in the wall and got out, as if getting out of the pool as quick as she could would lessen the soak-factor of jumping into a 4.5 foot pool fully-clothed, up to the hat.

Lil Sis was fine. Her husband's face was priceless.

Another mom brought her a 1.5 foot towel....nice gesture, but come on....

Lil Sis was already back in the pool with her noodle and her Dad. She looked at her and said: "Mom, if you want to swim, you can't get in the pool with your clothes on!"

She gathered her belongings and sludged to the elevator and straight into the tub, she could feel her boots were rather FULL. She took a long, hot shower and then gathered her last top that she had packed. Yeah, she hadn't packed very well either...no more puke or drowning emergencies for the next 24 hours, or she would have to wear her pajamas home.

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Sales!

I have to admit it...I got some great after-Christmas shopping deals. Usually, I do not do a lot of after-Christmas shopping, but this year's sales are cRazy.

I have never bought Hanna Andersson clothes because they seem a little pricey, but I happened upon their storefront sale and I got cutie pjs and slippers for NEXT YEAR's Christmas.

Then I stopped by Janie and Jack and picked up these beautiful Silk Dresses and boots for the girls. The dresses for NEXT year and the boots for now. The girls were actually excited about matching, so go with it, right?

I got some good sale items at Anthro of course, including my favorite find, a tablecloth marked down to 9.95 from 78-...and this sweater, which was NOT on sale, but a MUST nevertheless..it's called Sight Reading....

Yes, that is music!

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Weekend Wintuk

Thanks to Design Mom, our family got to attend Wintuk this weekend! It was a magical quest for SNOW.

We entered in the wrong place and had to walk the length of the vast theatre. The girls seemed a little on edge until we headed closer, closer, closer to the stage, and sat in the 2nd row! The girls loved that we were in the 2nd row:

The snow in the audience was SO MUCH SNOW. It was a great ending to the adventure:




Thanks Design Mom!

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Daddy Daughter Time

While Big Sis and mom pound out the new, rather large pile, of violin assignments, Lil Sis and dad, bond:


Not sure how much she is paying attention here:

They both hunkered down to a stack of books yesterday afternoon, while listening to a SLOW version of O. Rieding's 1st movement of Concerto in B minor, but soon lost interest:

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Fave Photos of Christmas

It was a great day...

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Fire Photo

The smoke is billowing right into our heater unit. My hair smelled like I had been sitting near a campfire for hours...

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Third Person Thursday

6:55 PM

She smelled something. "Honey do you smell that?"

"I can't smell anything"

"Come over here, smell this....it's coming from the heater, something is burning."

She looked out the window, and she didn't see anything, but her nose was telling her: Emergency.

She started walking down the stairs and smelling at each floor, trying to find the source of the fire. She was hoping she would find an apartment that had burnt their rice, a turkey, had been burning incense that mimicked campfire smell. She let the Super know and kept searching.

Finally she heard her husband on the bottom floor, and they headed outside.

On the street were about 10 firetrucks, 40 firefighters, and smoke billowing out of the apartment next door to their building. The wall in her bedroom shared a wall with the building that was burning, at the same level. As the firefighters bashed out the windows of the building with their picks and ladders, the smoke billowed directly into their heater unit.

After watching the destruction and the firefighting for about an hour, she was getting cold. She went back upstairs and found the smoke smell had increased dramatically and her out-of-town neighbors' smoke alarm was going off. As she was finding her coat, a crew of firefighters made their way into her bedroom with their gear and their picks and uniforms and measuring gizmos. They walked straight to her shared bedroom wall. Her adrenaline started pumping and she willed the firefighters to keep those picks in hand...please DO NOT bash a hole in my wall so that you can fight the fire...and please get that big black boxy thingy off the white bedspread....and the boots....!

They told her that the Carbon Monoxide levels were high and to get out.

So they did. She packed up everything she could think to pack as fast as she could. She was getting light-headed from the fumes and her eyes were burning from the ashes and smoke. She managed to collect everything and warn her friend with a phone call: We're coming.

They were welcomed with open arms and enjoyed a smoke-free evening, sleeping in a cozy bed. The spirit of Christmas from one family to another.

Their prayers were with those whose homes were absolutely destroyed from fire and fire fighters last night. While watching the fire, her daughter kept saying: "I hope the doggies are okay." Thankfully, they didn't notice any human or animal life that had been hurt, just stuff. And their home was protected as well... a Christmas Miracle.

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Posse Christmas Eve

What do you do while you wait for your kids to be at a proper level of slumber? Blog of course.

Today our chillies woke us up as IF it was Christmas morning...we knew we had a long day ahead of us...so we headed out, even though it was raining. Above the girls mug in front of a Bergdorf Goodman window...not sure where the faces came from...

We braved the crowds at both FAO Schwraz and Disney Store...and were pleasantly surprised to meet some of our favorite characters:



After a lunch with Dad (I had pop burger onion rings...that was all I needed to make my Eve), we headed home. At 4 PM we realized 3 hours was going to make us ALL stir crazy, so we headed to Uno's. The girls love the mac n cheese, and they can be noisy and messy...





Once we got home we opened crepe-paper Santa Heads filled with goodies that Aunt Linz made, read about Jesus' story, and then switched gears again and laid some cookies out for Mr. Claus...and in the morning, I am pretty sure there will be some giftage.

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12 Days of Christmas: Gingerbread Houses

Big Sis' class made Gingerbread (graham cracker-milk carton) houses yesterday. I was a helper. It was sticky.





I got another Christmas surprise. My DH's mom made this apron: I LOVE IT....

My DH's cousin sent it to me. Thank you Wendy!!!

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My husband is hot.

Well, he's actually cold here, but isn't he hot when he's cold?

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Soundtrack of the week...

June Christy, The Merriest!



Want the whole album? Found one here.

The part that stood out to me on the treadmill this morning at 6:13 AM:

"Hope there's oil under your rosevine
Hope you get that raise
Hope you hope everything goes fine
the next 300 and some odd days

Friends for the loners
A Song for the singers
Grins for the groaners
make the day the nothing can compariest
have the most, the merriest!"

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12 Days of Christmas: Santa

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Even though she got a chance to visit the Big Man, she still wrote a letter, just in case, at least it benefits a good cause (other than her OWN).

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Christmas Surprise for Me!

What? I won Wintuk Tickets on Design Mom!

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Performances

Our performances are complete and now we can relax into Christmas week. The past few weeks have involved a lot of hair and a lot of outfits:

Violin Concert:

Big Sis' outfit was acquired on super sale at Bloomingdales the day before the performance. I love this brand: aqua. I thought the blouse and the dress by themselves were too grown up for her age, but together: Excellent!


Violin Ensemble Concert:
I can't handle these green polka-dot shoes:

Choral Concert:

I particularly enjoyed the black sparkle converse shoes with silver tights:

And Lil Sis had a few outfits of her own. She has taken quite a fondness for this hat that Big Sis acquired in Texas this summer:

And after an unexpected snowstorm, we grabbed a brand new outfit, head to toe so that she could be warm for the rest of the day...I love these plaid pants:


Thank goodness for the recession, nothing is full price....I am stocking up like a little squirrel for when everything is expensive again, all in the name of contributing to our failing economy of course!

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12 Days of Christmas: Caroling

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We Christmas-caroled at a local nursing home. The adults commissioned the little ones to sing little duets and trios. We went floor by floor and spread Christmas cheer through song.



Lil Sis always wanted to sing We Wish You a Merry Christmas. We followed up our performance with a little Skype Caroling on Monday night. Something we will repeat next year, way fun...and much warmer!

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12 Days of Christmas: Christmas Memory Sunday

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Since I am the oldest of 4 siblings that span 11 years time, I had to believe in Santa Claus until I left home, for the benefit of my younger siblings. I would always give my parents a wink and a Thank you, after I had seen what Santa had brought me.

In 2002, I played Santa for the first time. I was at my parent's house, setting up toys for my first-born. Jay-Jay the Jetplanes, Chicken Dance Elmo and some board books were among the little gifts that I carefully placed near and in her stocking. Even as I was setting up Santa's gifts, I could hardly believe it was me doing it...I still felt so strongly that Santa had really done it, when I stepped back to examine my (his) work.

In the morning, discovering the gifts with our baby was such a thrill. I will never forget her fuzzy hair, polka-dot pants and big smile, as she experienced the excitement of Christmas morning for the first time.

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12 Days of Christmas: Christmas Jammies

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Every year I want to get Lanz pjs for the girls, because my mom often dressed my sister in me in them at Christmas time. I never find JUST what I want during my yearly search.

This year I DID find just what I wanted at the price I wanted...jammies and robes to match...at COSTCO! You can see at the bottom of their robes, the print matches almost exactly with mine pictured above.

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Vintage Christmas

This is my mom at around my current age with children around the same age as my children...The print on her skirt seems to be making a comeback right about now.


For a VINTAGE vintage of my mom, click here.

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12 Days of Christmas: Ornaments

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Each year when we decorate the Christmas tree, the girls get a new ornament. This year Big Sis got a ballerina bear and Lil Sis got an elephant, both from etsy.

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12 Days of Christmas: Christmas Greetings

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This vintage postcard album was the inspiration for my card. I shopped for gowns on etsy, and props at Crate and Barrell and Gracious Home. I got one good frame. Then I "hired" my cousin for the photoshopping and font-work, and voila! The perfect postcard. It is probably my favorite Christmas card to date.

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12 Days of Christmas: Gradually Going Green

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The greenest part of my Christmas this year has been to knit a scarf out of yarn that I gave a second life to when it was donated to the soup 'n swap at my church.

I also consider making home video DVD's for the family a green endeavor. It is small, it takes a lot of time and creativity...maybe it's more a gift from the heart than a green gift.

I SO admire my friends who are the handmade gifters. It is such a talent and I love it. One project that has stood out to me this season is Re-Made Board Books. This project I Could get into.

Check out the tutorial here.

And another friend made me a scrabble tile pendant necklace that says: BE GREEN. So thoughtful! I love it.

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12 Days of Christmas: First Snow

9-we're going to make this the 9th day of Christmas, because I miscounted....

We had our first official snow today. Here you can see the thick, white flakes as they showered over NYC. Lil Sis and I tried to get oustide in time to catch some on our tongues, but we were distracted by another little toddler running around the mall in front of us. I was happy to see that she and her mom were sans paparazzi, but sad that I recognized the baby before the mommy...


The snow let up for a while, only to return tonight...it's sticking a little, but it's still pretty as the background for my Christmas tree.

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12 Days of Christmas: Outtakes

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Honestly, I don't know how I ended up with a frame befitting of my vision of a Christmas Card. Check out these outtakes:




Come back Thursday for the finished product!

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12 Days of Christmas

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Acting out the Nativity Scene....my little angels declared Christ's Birth and sang a little Hallelujah too.

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12 Days of Christmas: Christmas Memory Sunday

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My first Christmas spent away from my family was spent with my in-laws. It was my first Christmas with my husband's mom, and his last with her.

For both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, we picked up his mother from the hospital so that she could be with us. A photo of Jason and his mom taken on Christmas Day still graces his dresser. She is wearing sweatpants and her hair is thin, white and unkempt, her eyes bulging out, her shrunken body, hunched. She was in the final months of her life, after battling melanoma cancer for 10 months already. He wassmiley, wearing a green shirt, arm wrapped around his skeleton of a mother, love and pride swelling in his eyes. Her body was fading, her spirit was alive and brimming over with the enthusiasm that was unique to her.

We opened presents with her, my new brother and sister-in-law, and Jason's Grandma and Aunt and Uncle. Mom and Grandma have since passed on.

I will never forget that Christmas because it was the first time I had been a part of another family's tradition. We went to Grandma's house with presents in tow. She decorated with lots of stuffed holiday bears and Cabbage Patch kids. There were trinkets all crowded together on the floor of the family room. Grandma and Mom were insistent about taking turns, so that we could watch each other open gifts. They constantly cheated, and opened out of turn. Grandma wanted us to eat candy that we didn't want to eat. Mom tired easily. We had to get her back to the hospital.

During those days spent in the hospital, Mom's cancer was spreading to her brain. One hour she would be like an elderly person, crippled, not seeing us, hearing us, not able to eat or talk. Then the tumors would shift and the next hour she was herself again. I have two favorite memories of that time spent in the hospital:

1. She composed a list of women for her husband to pursue once she was deceased. We went over the list as well and edited it down a bit...."No! Not her!" And he did end up pursuing and marrying one of the lucky ladies on that list!

2. One afternoon we asked her if she could lift her arms above her head (there must have been a good reason for this...can't remember what it was now). She sat there struggling to lift her arms, but they would not budge. Then we asked if she could at least move her hands, and she lifted her arms above her head and rolled her hands around and around. It was the funniest moment in the hospital because she COULD move her arms, the brain was just not connect the words to the action.

That Christmas was our first as a married couple, and it has become a cherished memory especially as I try to keep DH's mom's memory alive for my girls. She always wanted a daughter, I like to think that she was responsible for sending us our two.

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Do You Hear What I Hear?

Last night I got to sing with my babies. They are getting so old! And they're good. Thanks to John Tarbet who arranged and played this version of Do You Hear What I Hear?



Big Sis was all business. She held her own, knew her notes and her words. As we were practicing the past few days, I kept getting a phrase wrong at the end, and she always corrected me. I still messed it up last night, and in her head she was probably shaking her head saying: Mom....that was NOT right...it goes like this...

At one point, I looked over at the girls, and Lil Sis was not singing into the mic like we practiced, she was staring at something in the opposite direction. I almost started laughing. I did not expect this reaction from myself. So I had to fight that. I also thought it was sweet that she took such a big bow when it was all over. Another element that we did not practice.

Lil Sis: Predictably Unpredictable.

It would be great if we could have a little of each of them rub off on each other. More smiles for Big Sis, more focus for Lil. Well, we've got some time yet...

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Tonight's First

Tonight was a big night for me. I got a little vaklempt while rehearsing a few nights ago, because my baby is growing up. I got to sing tonight with both of my daughters. It is the first time of what I am sure will be many moments that we will perform together.

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Vote!

I am working on my new website. I need help.

There may be more votes, but for now I have this one:

First please visit my current wrangling page and notice the picture of baby and me making the same face. I really like this picture, but the quality is a little low for translating it unto my new website.

My idea is to use this one instead, but I am wondering if the biting finger thing sends the wrong message?


The image is small in order to protect it, but the baby is poking my left eye with her finger and I am biting her left finger and we both have sly smirks on our faces...

So...the vote is: should I use the original on the website or this one?

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Inspirational!

The box arrived. Pictured here are 65 scarves and 1 hat.


Lil Sis snuck the hat on her head while I was photographing the scarf city (above).

Here she is picking out which one she would like: the pink fuzzy one please.

I make the delivery tomorrow, and they will be handed out on Wednesday!

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Third Person Thursday.

She had an eye twitch a few years ago. It's back...only it's moved.

She thinks the 2006-07 eye twitch was on the right side, right eye. This one is on the left. She also twitches right above her left top lip. If she were to magically connect nerve dots she thinks the lip and eye twitch would follow the same path.

She twitches other places too. Usually in her biceps (can you really call those skinny bird parts biceps?), sometimes her fingers and her Dad swears her leg was twitching more than once while her leg was resting against his while sitting together on the couch this summer. Apparently there are some twitches she can't feel. Or, maybe HE was twitching.

She is pretty sure the random bodily twitches are from the AED medication, but this eye twitch is kind of recurrent like the old eye twitch, not so random. She has also felt a few sharp, concentrated pains above either eye switching off. She also read in one of her therapist-recommended books that hypochondria is a form of anxiety. Maybe that's the name for hers. Twitch. Twitch.

Enough already...she doesn't need an eye twitch on top of everything ELSE.

At least she can stop stressing out about a handbag, after years (years she tells you) of searching, she finally found it.


It's perfect. She might need to get one in every color.

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50% of profits from CD go to Nie Nie Recovery ~ 3 Weeks only!

LAST DAY TO PURCHASE FOR NIE!

November 19th through December 10th:


When you buy Picture a Christmas ~ Kristy Glass, 50% of the profits will go straight to the Nie-Nie Recovery Fund.

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Christmas Message

I heart this post.

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A Christmas Concert

The girls and I have a singing engagement this season....just one. Big Sis and I have decided to invite Lil Sis to sing with us, with one provision: "Lil Sis, you MIGHT be fired..."

Here is a little snippet from our rehearsal tonight...


We have 3 days to go...

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Love Scarffers

The scarves have started arriving at my doorstep! Ms. Gedde, Sherrie and Ms. Hymas' scarves have all arrived!

The BIG shipment is going to be posted this week by my aunt KJ.

It is so fitting that someone who has taught me such a unique lesson of unconditional, undying love has drummed up the bulk of the scarves for LoveScarf 2008...and she has already started on 2009, with a knitting class that she has begun in her church community. The following is an excerpt from an email she sent me today:

"I'd like you to meet a very sweet friend of mine, M. E. She is a wonderful homemaker Mom of 4 great daughters. Now she and her husband enjoy being called Grandma & Grandpa by sweet little grandchildren:

"Meet another dear friend, M. W. who is a wonderful artist by profession. She is a proud Mom of one talented and accomplished daughter who is pianist. She performed last night for our Ballet West presentation of "The Nutcracker". Melodie also has a beautiful singing voice and loves to perform:

"L. V. is my fun neighbor. I taught her to knit several years ago. She was first to call me inquiring about yarn and needle sizes. She is a beautiful knitter. Her oldest son is serving a mission in Italy:

"Here is P. H. who is quite a character. She has been a great support to me on a couple of my big sewing projects. Pat is a great story teller and love family history. When Pat drove up this morning to deliver her love scarf who should be with her of course her two faithful terriers that she adores. Pat's daughter is also knitting for this project:

"Guess who this is, yup, Aunt K. J. I wanted you to have a whole bunch of love scarves to share at the Hospital this year. I enjoyed thinking of the individuals who might wear one of my scarves. I hope they feel warmth and healing love.

"I have enjoyed both from the time I was 11 years old when my dear Mom taught me to knit (Continental method) and my cute Grandma taught me to crochet. I love the feel, the rythmn, the process and the final creation. My belief is that anyone who learns to knit or crochet has given themselves the cheapest therapy on earth. So if you share this hobby, pass the skills on so others can enjoy it too.

"It has been a joy knitting them while I am waiting in line at Costco, Walmart, traffic jams, the Post Office or anywhere else. Knitting is always in my bag especially during the busy Christmas season. I was knitting while watching the Presidential election returns and thus named my first love scarf of 08 after soon-to-be Pres. Obama. You can guess which ones are named Obama. Others are named Neopolitan, Striper, Cherry, Lipstick, Fire, Forest, Levi, Fluffy, Pinkie, Bubblegum and Snowy":


You are all such an inspiration to me! Thanks for sharing your creations and photos with my blog!

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Christmas Memory Sunday

Yesterday I had a memory flash quickly through my mind.

The exact timing is fuzzy, but it was in the mid-eighties. I was probably 7ish. My Dad (or maybe soon-to-be-future-Dad at that point) brought my sister, mom and me to his dental office on the south side of Chicago for a Christmas Party.

I remember the color brown, or perhaps it was just a bit dingy. I remember old dental chairs and equipment and dim lights. There was probably a Christmas tree. I am sure there was a musty and medical smell. In attendance were families of co-workers of my Dad, I think some of them were Hispanic. My Dad spoke Spanish on the job.

As a young girl I had not been exposed to many people different from me. I had not heard a lot of foreign languages spoken, I had not experienced the age and deterioration that is sometimes indicative of "inner city" establishments.

I remember someone I had just met got my sister and me a gift. I was not expecting this and I immediately held my expectations very high. My sister opened her gift and I think it was a generic Barbie or Baby doll, mine was a puzzle. I was completely disappointed in the gift. Never did it cross my mind: "It's the thought that counts." I found this photo of me with the gift, and judging by the body language, I am not quite embracing it...

Today as I watched people shopping, and as I thought about the economy and the affect that it is having on our everyday lives and undoubtedly our holiday celebration, I thought of this humble offering given to me as a child. And 20 years late, I finally appreciated it. Yet another reason to thank my Father in Heaven for the time he has given me. The time to grow, change, evolve and be more grateful with each passing day.

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List of Christmas Card Destinations

I listed the destinations of the Christmas card list. It looks like we have lots more world traveling to do, and a fair amount of the fifty nifties...30 states are unaccounted for. Sheesh.

Switzerland
China
Austria
Alberta, Canada
Oklahoma
Georgia
Arizona
Kansas
Minnesota
Vermont
Texas
Virgina
Nebraska
Connecticut
North Carolina
Maryland
Wisconsin
New Jersey
Idaho
Utah
New York
Illinois
California
Washington

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Progress

I take a test each week at my therapy session, numerically numbering my Levels.

My most concerning Levels (2 out of 3), finally took a little jump down. Down is good...down is getting better, inching away from the edge.

I have been making connections, learning lessons.

In a few words: abandonment, loss, control.

I am talking about the past, talking about the present, and my thoughts roll around and land different places, like a pinball machine.

Yesterday my thoughts landed on a confrontation that I had with another parent at my daughter's school in the spring. I decided to step into my shoes before the confrontation. I realized that with the few teeny tiny realizations I have made through the past 3 weeks, if then was now, I would be compelled to approach the situation a bit differently. Last spring, I think it ended as well as it could have under the circumstances and in my emotional state.

I saw that mom today, as I do almost every day and I explained that I was therapying, learning, growing, and that I wanted to add an adendum "I'm sorry" to the first one that was at the end of our conversation months ago. I shed a tear, she might have to. And I felt another little shard of metal come loose from the cage I have put myself in. freedom....? freedom? Are you out there?

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Bye Bye Tales

It was Tales from the Crib that got me started blogging. I am glad. I think blogging seemed scary until Tftcarrie got me going on Tales and then pushed me into starting my own blog.

It was a great experience to write and read and learn and grow. It helped keep those intimate playgroup discussions going, that we used to have live and in color in Queens. Often when I visited the Tales blog I had images flash of all of us moms actually together. I don't think we took that time we had for granted, but I still miss it. Crashlanding into the world of MOTHER together....helping each other, learning from each other, having adventures in the Big City. There are a few of us left here, still live and in color, but our kids are getting older, our lives filled with other stuff, and it's not the same.

Tales caused some great controversies. I know the words "Tales From the Crib" were exclaimed in vain. Isn't that crazy, that a blog would get under someone's skin? Gotta love it.

A few of my favorite posts can be found there:

I Heart Being a Mom in NYC

Multi-tasking

There are more, but upon searching for them, I started re-reading posts, and now I have to go get ready for my day....so you can find them yourself!

3ish years later, Tales is gone and I am still here.

Good idea Carrie! Thanks Tales Girls.

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Video Friday

You never know what those photo assistants are up to when you are trying to do a decent days work:

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Third Person Thursday

At 4:30 she woke up a little cold. She gathered the covers and fell back into deep sleep for one last, precious hour.

She remembered her dream upon hearing the alarm. She rarely remembers dreams anymore:

She was taking her family and friends to visit the crazy bird man that she met in Bryant Park last summer. As she approached the door there was a poem framed on the wall that included one of her daughter's names in it, though it was used as a verb, not a proper name. She was sort of a tour guide, while passing the poem, pointed out the use of the name-word..isn't it quaint?

The door opened to reveal the apartment. It had the crazy bird man and his two roommates. The ceiling had white billowy sheets hanging by each of the four corners, that were filled with birds. She couldn't see the birds, she couldn't hear them, but everyone knew they were contained in the sheets. There were bird droppings coating the floor, even though the white drapes were there to contain the birds and their droppings. She felt a bit frightened that she would be hit with some droppings. The crazy bird man and his roommates were talking nonchalantly about the birds and trying to clean up, but it seemed as if they would never get it done.

The three men went about the business of birds, and it was time for her to show her posse the birds. They let the drapes down and the multitude of birds were released. She couldn't see any though. She knew they were free, but she just kept staring at the ground and the droppings and feeling anxious about the prospects, until she felt a gentle peck on her leg. She looked down and saw a penguin with kind eyes. And that is the only bird she encountered. Aside from the occupants of the bird apartment, she did not see anyone else's faces, hear their voices. She didn't see any other bird, only what remained...she didn't feel their wings flap or hear their bird noises...but she knew they were free.

The alarm woke her at 5:30 and she thought about the dream for a long time. Finally she looked up a dream interpretation of birds.

From Dreamhawk.com:

"The life cycle of a bird has so many similarities with important human stages of growth we frequently use birds to represent parts of our own important experience.

"{B}irds illustrate...the ability the mind has to recognise it is not limited to the life of the body and its senses. It can lift up and see great vistas in a sweep if it opens its wings.

"Meeting this enlarged awareness may be painful or frightening as we approach it. The enlargement of what you experience is a form of growth and brings new possibilities, all of which can strip away old ways of life and relationship. This expansion of our viewpoint, upliftment of our emotions or mind, can be a link between the world we experience with our physical senses, and the deep world of our often unconscious passions, intuitions and insights.

"penguin The penguin hardly ever appears in dreams, or in fact in literature generally, so I have not been able to gather from peopleµs dreams how they use this symbol. From common associations however, it is likely to represent foolishness; a difficult life situation; coldness in relationships. Because of recent studies of the penguin and the major National Geographic film, the penguin might now depict lasting love and wonderful care and survival skills."

She pays attention when she remembers a dream she has had. She's glad she paid attention to this one. Now she's off to Counselor K, Session #3.

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Christmas Music Track of the Week

Sleigh Ride by Ronettes

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Today's Adventure: Macy's Santaland

Lil Sis: Mom, I liked all the decorations and the trees and the bears and stuff, but I did not like that room with Santa in it."

And so, we have no picture with Santa.


But we do have one with Mrs. Claus:

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Twin?

A few gals in Iowa kept driving by this billboard and thinking it was me. Finally I got a chance to see it, and I can confirm that this is ...

NOT me.



She does sort of look like that Zyrtec Girl, who also had a Listerine Whitening strips spot on for a while.....I probably would not have intentionally been on this billboard because I avoid certain industries...gambling being one of them.. I suspected if it was me, that maybe it was a stock photo, but thankfully it's not me....

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Winter's Eve

Big Sis performed as part of Winter's Eve tonight. She and her classmates fiddled there way into TD Bank. After her performance we headed into the crowd to see some drummers, and eventually we landed at Father Goose. After some pretty crazy dancing, we witnessed some ice sculpting, and Lil Sis, being the sensory girl that she is, had to taste it.




The girls went to bed 1.5 hours past their bedtime, and we will have a hard day tomorrow because of it. BUT...it was too hard to resist the Winter's Eve celebration around Lincoln Square! Gorgeous Weather, Grand Entertainment, and Friends!

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It's getting shorter...

Frank and I met again to get my hair just that much shorter. I didn't feel like I wanted to go back to my old short hair, so we settled for a Kristy Glass-2008 version of the Vidal Sassoon bob of 1962.




I like it. I have 4 castings already for next week, so we will see if it sells!

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