Thursday, May 28, 2009

She....

You know that song by Elvis Costello?

She had a TPT today, but she's still pretty wiped from it.

She made breakfast.
She made the lunches.
She did the violin practice but was distracted by getting ready to go.
She got Phoebe to school on time.
She warmed up. La!
She sang pretty well at the Finian's Rainbow chorus call.
She took the PATH train to Hoboken for the first time.
She had a lovely playdate with her friends and our 3, 4-year-old daughters.
She walked back to the train and when she spotted the station, that's when the seizure started.
She remained conscious but felt completely vulnerable.
She made it down the stairs and onto the train somehow.
She held her head in one hand and Lolly's hand in the other until it was over.
And she was still in denial about it until she felt limp all over, like her muscles couldn't possibly work, and like she needed to go to sleep right there.
She tried to think clearly about what to do, what to do.
By the time she got to Phoebe's school 45 minutes later she felt better, but still rattled. She held it together to buy the girls a cookie, which she is realizing just now that she totally forgot about, when she made the decision to treat them to an ice cream sandwich just hours later. After affects.
Once she got home she slept for an hour and felt incrimentally better.
Even now she feels like she hasn' t had sleep for days.
Her appointment is in a few weeks. Now she knows what they will be talking about. Insert expletive here.

9 comments:

Lisa said...

Sending you lots of mother love.

Heather said...

I think it's very impressive that you were able to get through it. Really, you are a strong lady!

onehm said...

I'm sure that this was disappointing for you. So glad that you and Lolly were kept safe during this time!
Hugs.

jlk said...

Were the girls okay seeing it? My heart goes out to you guys!

Kage said...

jlk, my mild seizures are all inside my head, there are no scary body twitches or anything and I do not lose consciousness...Lolly seeemed fine. She was quiet and seemed to understand not to bother mommy just then. The seizures themselves are only 3 minutes long and I am aware of them, it's the after effects of this one that I did not like: jello muscles, extreme fatigue.

This is Carrie said...

Ugh. I'm so sorry.

Alisa said...

Oh- so sorry- that put my problem I am dealing with into perspective! Glad you were safe when it happened.

Linz said...

I want to cry.

wendysue said...

Insert expletive here.

I'm so sorry. I'm so glad you and Lolly were safe and it wasn't one of those worst case scenerios you were worried about. Lots of love your way!!