Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Welcome to my club, friend.

To my friend, you know who you are:

When you first start the medicine, the familiar tracks of your mind will be turned off.

You will make new paths, find new ways. After a while, you will even make your way back to the old paths. What a great opportunity, to choose which "old paths" you return to. A little while after that, you will be dismayed when you are back on those paths even when you had the opportunity to not necessarily return.

You should write everything down. Really.

Praying helps.

You won't feel like yourself at all. You will feel broken down, slow, old, disabled, because you are. You will wonder: Where did I go? Who was I? You will have a seed of remembrance...don't worry...seeds grow.

You need to start taking a bunch of vitamins: calcium with D, multi-vitamin, folic acid, and I suggest some Flaxseed Oil to help all that get through your system.

Hormones will start to conflict in brand new ways. Steady, steady now.

A day with exercise, on a scale of 1-10 gets you between 7 and 9. A day without exercise, you'll be lucky to get to a 4. Sorry, that is still true a year later.

Sleep. Must. get. sleep. New priority: sleep. Early to bed. Early to rise. My doc calls it: Sleep Hygiene.

Avoid stress. I know. As if.

Slow down. Be present. Be rooted. This is the greatest gift of these drugs. (I suggest reading A New Earth by Eckart Tolle).

Appreciate every day, because guess what, our life expectancy is now reduced, even though it's under "certain circumstances and to a variable extent." Might as well enjoy as much of the moment as you can.

Don't be alarmed when you can't get the words out, the notes on the score are jumping around, you forget that you have a Father on Father's Day. There will be holes, and that's ok. Your friends and family will fill them up with lots of love.

The best news I can give you: it's a steep climb, but it's only up from here, and I think you will catch up with the true you at the top, you can share a beautiful view then.

It was worth the climb.


Linz said...

This is incredible writing.

Chloe said...

Thank you so so much. Promise me that someday you will write a book.

Jen said...

wow...that was an amazing read! Confirmation to me that trials really do make a person stronger and wiser.

Laura said...

What amazing writing! What a strong person you are and an incredible struggle. It's refreshing to read something so real. Life if full of the good and the bad and it does no good to not share the bad. It helps buoy us up to know we are not alone. All struggling with different challenges. Reading that is a great way to remember how far you have come and in a few years hopefully its even farther and the bad is more distant and less present. ((HUGS))

Kage said...

Thanks ladies, Chloe, in all my spare time I am working on the book. Maybe someday.

beth said...

It's such a blessing that she has you to talk to about all of this!!! You girls are strong. Seriously.

Corinne said...

I really like that, friend. I wish I could've passed it on to some people a few years ago - you've got a well earned perspective. Thanks for sharing it.

margo said...

Way to go Kage in climbing to the top again...enjoy the view. :) Beautiful writing.