Thursday, September 10, 2009

Third Person Thursday

She realized that it had been 18 months since HB08.

She was jogging on the treadmill when she realized it was just a few days away.

She realized that the past 6 months had overall been amazing. She sleeps less (this is good), wakes up in the middle of the night, dreams, rises to the alarm clock. She has more patience, awareness, she feels balanced.

She runs!

As her 30th birthday approached, she didn't feel festive or celebratory. Some good old friends happened to be in town on her birthday and she felt almost completely herself again, on her 30th birthday!

In May, she thought she suffered a seizure and she felt she had taken a giant step back. She explored that with her neurologist and after more tests that came back normal (she has yet to have an ABNORMAL one, except for a speck of blood from the concussion), her doctor said: If it's not your ears, it's anxiety, because it's not a seizure.

She had an AHA! moment. She knew her ears were FINE. And frankly, she would rather push out a set of quadruplets then go through the ear testing again.

So she stepped out of the office with a new thought, a new connection: What if my Anxiety is wearing an Epilepsy Coat?

From that day forward, whenever she felt any brain tingling, instead of giving into it and proclaiming it a Brain-Buzz-Day and lying down on the couch to ride it out, she would feel that little beginning of a buzz, stop, pay attention, and identify what was making her feel anxious. And...POOF! Gone. Buzz. Gone.

She has experienced a few exceptions, mostly to do with environment and/or hormones, but the amount of brain buzz she has experienced has gone down 95% since her AHA Moment!

She finds herself looking at her medical bracelet and imagining switching the charms out for a new charm: a lightsaber, superman logo, a bicep, a birdcage or just her initial. Her doctor said they could have a conversation about getting off meds at the 2 year anniversary. She's hoping that's going to happen in 6 months. She is willing to give up driving completely, heck, she'll wear a helmet to prevent another possible concussion if necessary. She just wants to remember that unmedicated, all-cylinders-firing-feeling again. She's much closer to that then she was 18 months ago, and for that she is grateful.

11 comments:

hdknowles said...

We've missed TPT. What a journey you've been on and shared with us. Hoping for you that you reach that goal in March and can wean off the meds. We admire your courage and strength. Here's to a great fall for you and your family.

Linz said...

I am feeling so so happy about your aha! moment.

This is Carrie said...

So happy about your aha! moment too. Sounds like you're ready to come out to CA and run the marathon with me (or at least the 1/2?)

margo said...

That a wonderful break through. Keep it up wonder woman!

Lisa said...

Your comments give me peace.

Chloe said...

Breakthrough :)

kj said...

Progress, awareness & more control, things to celebrate & continue.

Janet said...

Glad you're ahaing! Keep going.

Corinne said...

What a powerful thing you have figured out, friend. I love it.

wendysue said...

This is huge! So happy to hear that, and so empowering for YOU!

Rachel H said...

WOW...how awesome. Hopefully this is the beginning of the end with it all! =)