My stack of books has been sitting. I've renewed it twice, but there just isn't enough time to get it all from page to brain.
I realized that one of my books was overdue because someone else had put a hold on it, and so I have to turn it in ASAP AND pay a fee. I almost just returned it, but instead I picked it up to see if I could get something out of it for my $3.25. And let me tell you, this book totally blew my mind.
Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason By Alfie Kohn
A Provacative Challenge to the Conventional Wisdom About Discipline
I have read through as much as I can as fast as I can, because I have to return it. It is introducing me to a whole new way of doing this thing called parenting, which is something that I do quite a lot of these days.
I just bought it on Amazon, because I need to finish it.
In a nutshell, every conceivable parenting technique that I have tried is no good! And I have to relearn the entire thing.
Of course, I read all of these books with a grain of salt. This one in particular, I was extremely defensive at the beginning, but now I feel my mind opening and I hope that once I have read the rest I will be able to exhibit more unconditional love (I believe I HAVE this, but not sure if I SHOW it).
Here is just a quick list of food for thought from UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING by Alfie Kohn:
"Principles of Unconditional Parenting
1. Be Reflective.
2. Reconsider your requests.
3. Keep your eye on your long-term goals.
4. Put the relationship first.
5. Change how you see, not just how you act.
7. Be authentic.
8. Talk less, ask more.
9. Keep their ages in mind.
10. Attribute to children the best possible motive consistent with the facts.
11. Don't stick your no's in unnecessarily.
12. Dont be rigid.
13. Don't be in a hurry."
I love this list. Lately I have been working on 1, 4, 9, 10, and 13. And #3? I couldn't even pretend to answer that for you. So, as of right now, also working on 3.