Friday, January 01, 2010

Be OK

Reading over last year's goals, I find myself in a similar place, but having grown over the past year.

I need to allow space for more healing at least in the first half of the year. My foot needs to heal completely so that I can depend on it when I am off driving in the spring (coinciding with going off brain meds), and so that I am ready for summer on-foot adventures.

I need to allow space and unknowns for when I am weaned off the AEDS in the spring.

I have this anxious feeling in my belly that is pushing me to do! achieve! accomplish! It's a familiar feeling that I have lived with my entire life. When I experienced
HB08 and FB09 I heard this a lot: Maybe you need to slow down, take a break....and I understand that sentiment, but why? I've always been searching for the lesson of these trials, and is that one of them? I need to slow down?

I have about 4 big possible projects on the horizon and I find myself trying to tie one down....etch it in stone so that I have to accomplish it. Something to do! achieve! accomplish! in 2010.

And if I share here, that will make it sort of etched. One important lesson I learned in 2009, is that I am not really in control here. I need to be patient and flexible. So, I am going to work on a few or all of these projects, and be open to whatever is thrown my way that will change the plan. And I am going to hope that whatever is thrown my way will only enhance the outcome.

The goal for 2010 then, is this:

I just want to be ok.



BE OK
By Ingrid Michaelson

I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today

I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today

CHORUS:
Open me up and you will see
I'm a gallery of broken hearts
I'm beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts

I just want to know today, know today, know today
I just want to know something today
I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok

CHORUS

Just give me back my pieces
Just give them back to me please
Just give me back my pieces
And let me hold my broken parts

I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today

I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok
Know that maybe I will be ok
Know that maybe I will be ok

2 comments:

Beth said...

I was just listening to this song last night and feeling like it's sort of my theme song right now. It's a good one. Happy New Year, Kage.

jennifer said...

I love this song - it's my theme song too - I love you, girl and miss you a ton.