Monday, January 04, 2010

Monday

After scanning my favorite blogs this afternoon, I am realizing that, in general, bloggers, or at least the bloggers I read, are fond of The New Year. In fact, they are a bit giddy about it!

I am also fond of a new start, but I am not giddy, at least not today. I enjoy the prospects, setting goals, having much to do and sort of running right out of the gate to try to be the first to GET. IT. DONE.

But on this Monday, the first Monday of 2010, I am tired of people debating whether or not to say two-thousand ten or twenty-ten (I prefer the latter). I am tired. I cannot run, I can barely walk. I feel I don't have enough time to get it all done. This is a good thing right?, because in the past I would most likely believe I could do it all and in 5 minutes. So, there is growth there, but I am frustrated.

Often on the Monday before certain womanly things happen to me I am grumpy, so perhaps that's all this is, some imbalance of hormones. Maybe.

I went to the foot doctor today. The visit made me happy for many reasons. The entire staff was delightful, helpful. In 42 minutes I had x-rays done, was seen by the doctor, filled out three pages of paperwork and made an appointment to come back in 6 weeks. That is short. I was also happy to see my x-rays. I have had 5 full-sets of x-rays taken of my foot, and aside from the crude initial pix taken the morning of the accident, I have not seen a single excellent picture of my foot, until today.

The doctor showed me pix from 7 weeks ago compared to today. And, there was a difference! Healed completely? No. BUT! He said he was surprised at how progressed the healing was. He was also NOT concerned about my bone density or bone health. Yes! I left with these instructions: wean completely off the boot in the next 2 weeks, ease back in to activity, allowed: elliptical, bike, treadmill (walking only).

I'm not walking quite right yet. He asked if I wanted to go to therapy, but I don't really have time, and he agreed that I would figure it out eventually. I think I am scared. Yes, I am feeling fear about the foot. Tomorrow, in theory, I could wake up and work out. But, I'm scared. Maybe one more week!? And then at least my husband can be there with me when I try for the first time?

And I'm scared about some more stuff: Not being able to walk fast, or jog, or bound up and down subway steps, or make that train at the last second. I'm scared of people bumping my foot, of re-breaking it, of breaking the other one. I am scared that I will never be the same again! Fear. It's not good. And so, that is why, today I am not giddy or thrilled! I am more like a scared little dachshund I know...but I don't smell as bad (well, my foot does smell bad.)


2 comments:

evie parks said...

Kristy, I completely understand that fear- mostly the fear about not getting it all done, which is why my blog hasn't seen me in awhile! The new year giddyness has started to get on my nerves, too!
Best wishes to you in 2010- in a very non-giddy way, of course! ;)

Linz said...

Yippee for a surprising amount of healing! I haven't been blogging in giddiness like some others but I'm just excited for a new year because I think 2009 kicked my butt.